The Sickness

Part 1 - Larry

Today the prettiest girl came to Ground Infinity and she brought Larry who is a robot and my best friend! I was going to show them my really super cool fort, but then some guys showed up on motorcycles and they definitely weren’t Blue Dragons because Blue Dragons have different bikes and they actually don’t even wear really big spiky pauldrons, duh!

Anyway, for some reason everyone wanted to go talk to the weird guys on bikes. Oh yeah! By everyone, I mean my best friend Larry, Kyle (she’s the beautiful girl), Jesus-Bob Disastro (he’s like my second best friend and he’s a really good cook!), and this other guy, A.D.A.M., that thought his fort was cooler than mine. So they all wanted to go talk to the bad guys and I told them not to because that was really stupid but nobody listened to me. Instead they just kinda stared at them for a while until Kyle told Larry to go beat them up! I was really scared that they were gonna kill Larry so I ran to get Sheriff Caine but he was busy fighting with some other bad guys so I decided to go back and take care of it myself.

When I got back, all my friends were in big trouble, but I knew what to do! I jumped on one of the guys and tore his heart out with my fist while simultaneously stabbing another with my fearsome scorpion tail! The other bad guys all shit in their pants. One was so scared he had a heart attack and died and the other guy ran away. Larry was hurt so bad that I had to carry him.

Then we went inside and I killed all these guys that were using computers (except one ‘cause he exploded). They were obviously the brains while the other guys were the brawn. Most groups have both types. I’m actually both, so my group’s lucky! Anyway, they were trying to get our city’s power source, probably to study it because it’s super hyper tech and it can definitely be used as a mega weapon that could power a giant robot dragon that they created but needed a really powerful power source to turn it on.

Jesus ended up getting the power core and we were gonna use it to fix Larry, but then we had to give it back because we decided the town needed it more than Larry. So I put it back in ‘cause no one else was smart enough to know how. The Sheriff was so happy that he gave me a key! I’m not sure what it unlocks yet, but I’ll figure it out. And Larry’s okay, because Kyle’s really smart and she knew how to fix him.

All in all it was a pretty fun day!

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Game 1- Kyle's Perspective

So me and Larry are walking when we sort of stumble across this weird mess of a town. It doesn’t exactly look inhabited at first so I decide to scrounge around, see if I can come up with anything that’ll help my poor robot bud. He’s looking even worse for wear than usual. So I’m digging through scrap piles when this grungy, but kind of hot guy comes up. He starts asking me questions about Larry and I tell him fuck no he’s not for sale.

So this guy’s hassling me when this weird mini-Mutie with a big-ass scorpion tale shows up and tells me I’m pretty. She and Larry seem to hit it off, so I guess she’s ok. I think her name was Storm-a-something. So then this really normal-looking guy walks over and offers to let me and ol’ Larry-me-lad stay in his box, which, from what he says, seems like it’ll fit the three of us nice and cozy-like.

Suddenly I hear motors. I’m curious, but the little kid is leading Larry away by the hand, and the normal guy wants us to get out of the way. The sounds are coming from these crazy-looking leather dudes who ride by on bikes. Me, being the idiot everyone always told me I was, am too curious not to follow. So we get around this corner and there are eight of these fuckers lined up in front of some shack that looks like it has tech inside, judging by the wires sticking out every-which-way. Four of them work on the door while the other four stare at us, shotguns in hand.

I figure the place looks pretty important so I sick Larry on them. Stupid lunkhead can’t land a punch. I get the bazooka and blast into the crowd. Something must have knocked me off balance cause I ain’t that bad a shot, but I only manage to hit the door and let the BDSM-looking guys in.

Of course, the blast causes fucking chaos. Storm-a-scorpion takes off. The normal dude pulls a stun gun (wuss) and manages to hit himself with his own bolt before he actually manages to floor a guy.

Larry, of course, is stuck in the middle of all this, and he’s getting all fucked up so I bust out the laser eye and zap the closest guy. He fucking evaporates and everyone’s looking at me. Suddenly the scorpion kid comes out of nowhere and goes to sting this other guy and ends up catching herself in the shoulder.

Then some jackass shoots Larry so I dive in and give him a kick to the nads he’s not going to forget any time soon. The kind of hot dude is blasting away with his guns, but he’s not catching much so he heads into the building along with normal guy, leaving me and this fucking little kid to deal with the last two leather-clad gun-enthusiasts.

I’m grappling with the guy I kicked, and he shoots at my fucking head, but only catches my hair. I go down and come up with Larry’s arm, which fell off AGAIN, and lay him out with it. Scorpion Storm takes some pill and picks up Larry like a stuffed Teddy-Mangler. We head into the shack and the place lights up with a blast of radiation the likes of which I haven’t seen in a long while.

We end up finding this room full of some of the most gorgeous pieces of tech I’ve seen. The core of a bot hangs there like a glowing beacon of possibility. The leather assholes are all typing away and normal dude’s just chilling there behind them. Then suddenly he lights up like a sky-squid fresh out of the green mist so I hit him with the tech detector that Aleksandr invented, but it says he’s human and tells me to apologize (fucking Aleks always trying to make me polite.) Then the stupid normal-looking asshole says “Ow” which catches this one guy’s attention. Storm-a-something says his name is Steve… like I care.

Anyways, there’s more chaos. I go for Steve, who’s heading for his bag when I see kind of hot guy go for one of the abandoned terminals. I hop on that shit and slowly figure out the system, but it’s nothing I’ve seen before.

Scorpion Storm is manages to shank the hell out of the leather guys with her scary-ass tail, and normal guy hops of another terminal, trying to get at that core before the rest of us. It’s a race, but kind of hot dude cracks it and gets the core. The place goes dark except for the core, now in the hands of kind of hot guy.

It suddenly dons on me that Larry needs repairs and bad, but the guy doesn’t look like he’ll be giving the core up any time soon, so I deck him. Doesn’t do any good. He hides the thing despite normal-looking, apparently human guy’s whining about needing to see. I can see though, and I watched them fumble toward the exit.

I can’t leave Larry so I start dragging him. Suddenly, the three of them are coming back down the hall at me, and they start squabbling over the core and needing lights to see and I hit the hot guy again for the hell of it.

They end up tripping over Larry and the core spills out on the ground and we all scramble for it. I end up getting it, and I hide it fast, but I can’t really drag Larry like this, but Stormpion offers to carry Larry and we head out the back. When we laser open the door, we hear the guns of a shit-ton of law men click. Somehow, we manage to explain the situation and the law men thank us even though I was planning to make off with the core and upgrade the shit out of Larry. Stormy says she knows how to put the core back, and as I’m re-stringing Larry’s arms, the town’s power comes back with a vengeance. What the fuck? The place looks nicer than it did before.

Sure enough, mini Mutie gets some sort of shitty reward for it and thinks she knows all about tech now… All right, I kind of like the kid.

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Game 2- Kyle's Perspective

So I end up staying at that normal-looking guy’s place (turns out his name is A.D.A.M.) He doesn’t seem like the type who would try anything, but I got Larry watching over me like always so I know he won’t try anything. His box is pretty comfy compared to all the rocks we’ve been sleeping on past few weeks.

Anyways, I wake up to a bunch of knocking which is really fucking annoying. The head law-man, Sheriff Caine,, is outside and he offers me money to go fight a bunch more of those crazy leather dudes. A.D.A.M. goes off to do something, and I tell Larry to wake me up around noon when I’m supposed to head into town to meet up with the sheriff. Of course, when I get into town, Stormageddon and hot guy, Jesus-Bob Disastro, are waiting there with A.D.A.M., who’s wearing an unusually casual shirt. Turns out it’s reinforced, and when he sees Larry having to stop and reattach his arm every few steps, he gives the shirt to the ol’ toaster to tie his arm on with.

So, the bunch of us get grouped together again because according to the sheriff, we “work well together.” Hah! But whatever. I’m pretty cool with Stormageddon, and Jesus is easy on the eyes. Our mission is to go to an outpost of the guys who we fucked up yesterday and destroy them, so we hop in a rover and head out. Of course, we get far enough out and a bunch of fucking manglers show up and poke their ugly heads through the windows and flip the car.

Jesus and Stormy scramble into the back, and the manglers are getting in so I slip out of the rover. And I’m glad I did too because as soon as we’re all clear of the car, I hear this weird noise and the thing BLOWS THE FUCK UP. Larry’s head goes flying from the blast. Unfortunately there are still a bunch of manglers, and one of them’s got its muzzles clamped onto Jesus’ arm and he’s screaming like a baby getting eaten by a razor hen.

I follow Larry to a safe distance and realize his arm’s back at the car, so I go tearing across the wasteland, back into mangler territory, to get it. It’s another close call because as soon as I’m helping Larry get himself together, a bunch of missiles drop out of the sky and beat the shit out of everyone over by the car and don’t explode. But the manglers are still going and now they’re pissed so Stormy gets one through the skull with her tail, sending brain bits and bone fucking everywhere. It’s awesome. I decide it’s time for the laser eye, and I end up splitting a mangler in half, opening its skin up like it has a zipper. A bunch of tiny manglers start eating their way out of their mother’s body, and Stormageddon nabs a few to take with us? I don’t know.

We decide the best thing to do is to blow the baby manglers up so they don’t kill us later, so we find ourselves a good spot and start chucking rocks at the missiles. Good old Stormy hits one and they go off like popcorn… really loud popcorn. Out of the explosions, the rover comes flying at us and lands in a twisted heap right next to Jesus.

So after that, everyone’s kind of wondering what to do next. It’ll be a long walk back home and a slightly less long walk to our destination, so I head off with Stormageddon who says she knows where we need to go. So far she’s been right about most things. Kid’s a fucking know-it-all, but sometimes I wonder if she really does know it all. Jesus and A.D.A.M. follow us and as it’s getting dark, we come across this bunch of houses. I switch of infrared to see when I notice that they’re all around us. Fucking degenerates. Fucking everywhere. Fuck.

I tell everyone we need to quietly back the fuck up when Larry loses his head, Stormy pulls off his arm, and Jesus gets hit in the face with his shoulder. Yeah. Real stealthy.

Larry and I take off, and since I’m the only one who can see, everyone follows me again. The degenerates close in fast, so: bazooka. About half the crowd following us drops from the impact, and the rest of my group sees for a split second why the hell I was getting the fuck out of there so fast. The rest of the horde circles around us. I grab my plank with the nail in it and take a swing at one. It connects and rotten flesh flies everywhere. It’s a disgusting way to go, but it’s the only option. I can’t shoot another shell at this close range. I manage to brain another one when the word lights up with a blast of radiation that seems to be coming from A.D.A.M. again. The probe swore he’s human, but I’m going to have to scan him again one of these days.

Fighting the biters off one by one isn’t working so I grab Larry and try to book it through the thinnest part of the growing horde. I’m not fast enough, but after a few minutes of surfing across and pushing through the biting, scratching, trampling crowd, I escape. My left arm’s mangled beyond use and I’m in serious danger of becoming a degenerate, but I had to get out of there. If I died, who would take care of Larry?

Suddenly, from the mass of degenerates, there’s another blast of radiation which drops half of the degenerates. Jesus collapses and A.D.A.M. carries him as we flee. Just before I pass out from the pain, I try to probe A.D.A.M. but he swipes it away and I’m out.

When I come to, someone’s screaming and I’m stuck in some sort of weird webbing. I can’t see very well, but some kind of deranged cat-spider is attacking Jesus and Stormageddon. I tell Larry to go help, but I really need to get that guy a weapon because his arm is just not up to hitting anything. I struggle to get out of the web, but I’m all sorts of tangled up. I grab my board and swing at the stuff, but I’m in rough shape and I get a nail to the head. Just before I collapse with the pain of it, I realize my left arm’s healed up and I smell… is that toast?

From my position on the ground, I can’t really see anything. There’s a lot of commotion and horrifying noises coming from outside the web. At one point I get splattered with some kind of goo that I hope came from the weird cat and not my companions. Suddenly, the cat’s head FUCKING EXPLODES. What the fuck?

After the initial shock of pain subsides, I pull the board out of my head. Not too bad. Hurts, but I seem to be able to move around and all. I use the eye the good ol’ doctor gave me to look for Ground Infinity in the distance. It doesn’t seem too far, and despite Stormy’s insistence that she knows better than me where the town is, we manage to get there. Jesus is all covered in radiation burn and his hair is falling out. I’m all bit and scratched and possibly brain damaged. Sheriff Caine is pissed.

Luckily, the local doctor they got there seems to be some fucking genius because I come away from his shack all patched up and not degenerate. Poor Jesus-Bob, though. Hot guy’s not so hot anymore.

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